I hate that my heart still skips a beat when I think of you.
I haven't seen you for a while now and
I'm not even sure if I will ever hang out with you again :(
Then again I guess it's for the best,
because you're better off without me,
and hopefully I'll be able to move on alright,
even though it's very hard.
Whenever I see your pictures I want to crawl into a grave and die
I want to run away or go on pretending you don't exist,
but no matter how far I am or what I'm doing I can't help thinking of you.

I can't seem to be able to keep friends anymore.
I am officially alone.
I am considering putting an end to all of this bullshit.

    Ugh, I hate rain. Unlike most people, I can't get my hair wet. I wish my hair wasn't so damaged. Luckily my hair straightener is my best friend. I hope it isn't broken, because I left it on for over eight hours today by accident.
    I also accidentally lit the wrong end of my cigarette earlier. I was pissed. Not wanting to waste another cigarette, I just ripped off the filter and smoked it unfiltered. Now I feel sick.

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Thing I can't wait for:
-The new Misfits album
-The new Avenged Sevenfold album
-The new Atreyu album
-The new The Cure album
-The new Behemoth album
-The new Demon Hunter album
-The new From First to Last album
-Sounds of the Underground tour
-The Troll 2 screening
-Warped Tour
-Ozzfest
-The Misfits concert
-The Cure concert




BEHEMOTH IS EPIC

    Today was a pretty shitty day. Not only was I literally not able to sleep at all the night before but I was forced to go to Home Depot THREE fuckin times in the morning to get stupid tar things cause my mom randomly decided to tar the driveway. I was planning on watching movies all morning before realizing mother didn't work today.
    I felt like getting out of the house, taking mother's car and going to South Shore Plaza or something. The only person around that I could possibly take was Meghan, but she was too busy 'cleaning up' and stuff. I felt helpless and lonely stuck in this fuckin house. I'd go do something alone but of course as usual I don't have any money. So I stayed on the computer and over time my mood just kept sinking and sinking due to everyone being jackasses.
    Mother went to the parent and I ignored Meghan's two phone calls because I hated that she was hanging out with the bitch that treated us like crap at the fireworks yesterday. Eventually I felt that I had to get out or else I'd go crazy, so I called Meghan and found out that she had been hanging out with all the wonderful Walpole people without me. I really fuckin hate when she does that, like really, it fuckin pisses me off.
    So I off I go to spend the evening with Walpole people and Meghan. All evening I had to deal with Meghan being head over heels in love with the deaf girl, Robin's constant hugging which eventually began causing claustrophobia later on, and the stubborn emo kid that apparently hates me for some unknown reason.
    We walked along streets, causing people to stare at us, which always bothers me, and to top it off it begins raining. Of course we stand in the rain just the right amount of time to fuck up my hair. Lovely. After what seemed like hours we finally begin going to the car. The ignorant little emo bastard blasted music and it was annoying.
    The rest of the evening was very fun, it was actually very tiring and annoying. The strobe light at meghan's house made me very dizzy, and due to all the frustrations I was having with the people I had a slight mental breakdown that resulted in me lighting all the candles and burning a baby doll. I hid that doll pretty quickly. When Emily had to leave because of her bitchy mother, I decided to leave, too. Robin kept trying to stop me but I finally managed to get out.
    Overall the day was very sucky, I was uncomfortable all the time and I hate rain.
   I'm so glad to be home..
..I probably won't be leaving the house for a few days now..
 ..fucking rain in the forecast..
..and stupid people..
                                                                                                                                    -Ludovicus